Wednesday, February 23, 2011

"honk if i need an education"

ronda holder, a 33 year old mother of six, had it up to here with her 15-year old, whose grades have been less than stellar. after her son, james, brought home his 1.22 gpa, holder made him stand on a street corner for nearly four hours with a sign that said “my name is james w. mond iii. i did 4 questions on my f-cat and said I wasn't going to do it! gpa 1.22... honk if i need [an] education."

this wasn’t holder's first attempt to make james realize the importance of keeping his grades up. according to the associated press, both holder and james’ father “offered help, asked to see homework, grounded and lectured him and confiscated his cell phone.” frustrated when those measures didn't work, holder decided to try sheer embarrassment. she was quoted as saying, “until he straightens up his grades and gets his education on track, he’s going to work this corner...[embarrassment] is the best thing. [james] don’t like to get embarrassed.” tv crews caught many cars honking in support of james getting more education.

this whole experience has had a definite impact on young james. “i felt crazy,” he told the st. petersburg times, “it’s embarrassing....she was trying to teach me a lesson. i should have been working harder than i was in school.” since neither holder, nor james' father, graduated high school, this extreme act was her ultimate plea in defense of her child's education. she said, “i don’t want any of my kids to stand by the side of the road asking for change.”

but not everyone thinks this side-of-the-road antic is much better. a psychologist told fox 13 in florida that "embarrassment and shame is not really healthy for a young person's mind growing up." additionally, according to an article in forbes, psychologists typically think extreme parenting, like this, is not only “humiliating and ineffective,” but also mentally abusive. they went on to say that a representative from florida's department of children and families thinks that punishment like this "might legally be considered a form of maltreatment."

my point, and i do have one is....while humorous on the surface, i find this story quite sad. not because james was "humiliated" but because at the core of this story, in my opinion, is a parent crying out for help. so often we hear people say that parents who aren't engaged in their children’s education are a big part of why the system often fails. well, here you have a mother who, despite having a lot of kids at a very young age and limited education of her own, is trying to do right by her son...trying to compel him in every way she knows how, to achieve more educationally than she did. i would imagine it’s just as shameful and embarrassing for her to publicly announce that her child is failing school, yet she believed that this, non-traditional (and admittedly controversial) approach, was the price to pay for another attempt to reach her son. while i don't know that this was the best approach, i applaud her for her action in doing something and for staying engaged.

what’s your point?

1 comment:

  1. we agree. with a mother so devoted to her son's education, we are surprised that her son is not doing better in school. we also feel that this is not the best approach though, because embarrassment is like the psychological version of corporal punishment. the child remembers the pain and embarrassment, but most of the time he/she does not remember the reason for the punishment.

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