patriotically conflicted

on september 11, 2001, i was fortunate to not be downtown, but i vividly remember being in times square wondering if my location was the next area to be attacked? i remember watching fire trucks heading toward the towers on the west side highway to an uncertain future, while i waited on a two-hour line for a ferry to new jersey, to reunite with my brother and friends. i remember sitting with billy, stephanie and lou on sinatra drive in hoboken looking at what is now called ground zero, as it burned...our beautiful skyline became sad that day, never to be the same. i remember staying up all night watching the news while my brother slept on my couch because if the lincoln or holland tunnels were the next targets (as some were speculating at the time), their destruction would mean my first floor apartment would flood and we would need to get to higher ground immediately. i was profoundly sad, angry, scared and wished that that, in retaliation, as an act of war,we took out osama bin laden. now, nearly a decade later, bin laden's death, paired with the country's reaction has left me patriotically conflicted.

mark twain once wrote: "i've never wished a man dead, but i have read some obituaries with great pleasure." am i sorry bin laden is dead? no. will i mourn the death of a terrorist who murdered thousands of innocent people? absolutely not. after president obama gave his speech the other night, i found the coverage of the crowd outside the white house singing the national anthem very moving. for the first time since the days following september 11, the words took on more meaning than merely signaling the beginning of a baseball game. but quickly, it seemed to turn into a full on celebration of bin laden's death. it was sheer revelry...partying in the streets, toasting with liquor, applauding his death at national tv shows like the view.

i remember on september 11 and 12, 2001 watching news video of oversea "evil-doers" having similar celebrations in their streets over the tumbling of the twin towers, the destruction at the pentagon and the horror in pennsylvania and thinking, i can't believe those sons of bitches are celebrating! what kind of heartless people celebrate death? now, i can hear you saying: "but that's different, bin laden was evil and the people killed on 9/11 were innocent." that is true, i'm not arguing that point, but instead saying from a perception perspective...shouldn't we act better than them?

some of my friends have said that when they first heard bin laden was dead they felt exhilaration...not me. i felt a resurgence of fear. how long before they retaliate? where will that be? ny or dc again? maybe a smaller town? what about americans overseas? now, maybe it's the publicist in me, but in a time and age of instant communication, why would we want to taunt unstable terrorist type people with a celebration of their "leader's" death?

my point, and i do have one is...now more than ever, we should act like the civilized people we portray ourselves to be. is this how the supposed standard bearers of justice behave? according to jack cloonan, a former fbi special agent, my fears aren't unfounded. he told the huffington post "the reasons they hate us have not subsided and [these celebrations] could reinvigorate things."

nearly ten years later, the scars from september 11th still exist. some are public, like the gaping hole that to this day remains at ground zero…some less visible, like the continued pain felt by those who will forever mourn the loss of their fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, sisters, brothers and friends. many first responders are sick and dying from what they inhaled at the ground zero pile, fighting for health care they so desperately need. i personally think everyone lost a little bit of their innocence that day, i know i did.

as a proud native new yorker and american, i make no bones about hating bin laden as well as the people who fulfilled his vision. but celebrating nearly a decade later over our taking him out, just leaves me feeling uneasy. if we want to celebrate anything, how about instead we focus all our energy on celebrating and honoring our troop's heroism and bravery?

my friend marc posted a quote from dr. martin luther king jr. on his facebook wall that, i think expresses says what i feel more eloquently than i ever could: "i mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

what's your point?

"honk if i need an education"

ronda holder, a 33 year old mother of six, had it up to here with her 15-year old, whose grades have been less than stellar. after her son, james, brought home his 1.22 gpa, holder made him stand on a street corner for nearly four hours with a sign that said “my name is james w. mond iii. i did 4 questions on my f-cat and said I wasn't going to do it! gpa 1.22... honk if i need [an] education."

this wasn’t holder's first attempt to make james realize the importance of keeping his grades up. according to the associated press, both holder and james’ father “offered help, asked to see homework, grounded and lectured him and confiscated his cell phone.” frustrated when those measures didn't work, holder decided to try sheer embarrassment. she was quoted as saying, “until he straightens up his grades and gets his education on track, he’s going to work this corner...[embarrassment] is the best thing. [james] don’t like to get embarrassed.” tv crews caught many cars honking in support of james getting more education.

this whole experience has had a definite impact on young james. “i felt crazy,” he told the st. petersburg times, “it’s embarrassing....she was trying to teach me a lesson. i should have been working harder than i was in school.” since neither holder, nor james' father, graduated high school, this extreme act was her ultimate plea in defense of her child's education. she said, “i don’t want any of my kids to stand by the side of the road asking for change.”

but not everyone thinks this side-of-the-road antic is much better. a psychologist told fox 13 in florida that "embarrassment and shame is not really healthy for a young person's mind growing up." additionally, according to an article in forbes, psychologists typically think extreme parenting, like this, is not only “humiliating and ineffective,” but also mentally abusive. they went on to say that a representative from florida's department of children and families thinks that punishment like this "might legally be considered a form of maltreatment."

my point, and i do have one is....while humorous on the surface, i find this story quite sad. not because james was "humiliated" but because at the core of this story, in my opinion, is a parent crying out for help. so often we hear people say that parents who aren't engaged in their children’s education are a big part of why the system often fails. well, here you have a mother who, despite having a lot of kids at a very young age and limited education of her own, is trying to do right by her son...trying to compel him in every way she knows how, to achieve more educationally than she did. i would imagine it’s just as shameful and embarrassing for her to publicly announce that her child is failing school, yet she believed that this, non-traditional (and admittedly controversial) approach, was the price to pay for another attempt to reach her son. while i don't know that this was the best approach, i applaud her for her action in doing something and for staying engaged.

what’s your point?

(girl scout) cookie monster

the mission of the girl scouts is to build girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place. well, clearly, hersah howard, of florida, was never a scout. believing her roommate ate the last of her thin mint girl scout cookies, howard allegedly ravaged the apartment and attacked her.

according to police, howard, who was in a rage about the missing thin mints, woke roommate, jasmin wanke, in the middle of the night on sunday. after arguing a bit, wanke claims howard (who according to police weighs in at about 400 pounds) proceeded to jump on her and hit her in the face. wanke's husband pulled them apart, but that didn't stop howard, she proceeded to chase wanke with a pair of scissors, only to then pick up a board and hit her. according to the associated press, "the fight [then] moved into the kitchen, where howard allegedly hurled her heft at wanke again. as they fought, howard bit wanke's breast and struck her several times."

after being torn apart yet again by wanke's husband, the police arrived and charged howard with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. she was released monday on $10,000 bail. wanke claims that she didn't eat the yummy chocolate-coated mint wafers (the most popular of the girl scout cookies) but instead fed them to howard's kids at around 1 a.m. when the children said they were hungry. (really??)

my point and i do have one, is....let’s be honest, shall we? girl scout cookies are a little like crack that is allowed to be legally distributed in offices by pre-adolescent dealers. once a year our friends and colleagues allow their darling little dealers, i mean daughters, to come around and take orders. everyone tends to buy at least one box, not just because we want to support the young ladies in their efforts to raise money, but because we know it will be a whole year before we will get to purchase the good stuff again. and everyone's order process is similar, you get one box of thin mints ('cause that's just a given, right?) and then you add at least one other variety (my preference, the yummy peanut butter).

so, when you break it down to the basics, girlfriend realized her thin mint stash was gone, so like any good crack/cookie head does, she went a little charlie sheen and beat down the person she thought stole it. how has it taken this long for this to happen?? what's your point?

a very un-"happy ending" (in so many ways)

ahhh vegas, the city littered with so many broken hearts and dreams. think you have heard them all? let me introduce you to young hubert blackman, who has filed a $1.8 million lawsuit against an escort service in vegas because one of their girls didn't spend enough time making him happy.

according to the las vegas times, while on vacation, this new york college student hired an escort from exclusive personals to come to his hotel room for a "date." while he was apparently satisfied with the quality of this woman's work, the quantity quickly became a point of contention.

here are the undisputed facts: the woman performed a lap dance (for $155) and a sex act (for another $120). the issue became the length of her "performance." hubert claims while she was commissioned for a one-hour period, she left after just 30 minutes. dissatisfied, he called the escort service to demand his money back (he also supposedly told them he had been too drunk at the time of the services to make an informed agreement with the dancer). needless to say, they said no (i'm guessing they said no while laughing hysterically, but i digress.)

so what did he do next? hubert did whatever sane thinking person does when the prostitution service they paid for isn't up to snuff, he called the cops! the vegas police promptly informed him that prostitution is illegal and that he could be arrested. (fun fact: while prostitution is indeed illegal in sin city, certain counties have legalized it, hence places like the bunny ranch being able to offer legal brothel service - sharing is caring.)

now before you think this story is over, let me remind you that hubert is a new yorker and a couple of no's won't stop us from seeking justice so richly deserved! upon returning to new york, he promptly filed a suit in manhattan criminal court, claiming he needed medical treatment for the clearly traumatic event, stating: "an escort did an illegal sexual act on me during her paid service to me...i almost had gotten arrested...i would like the court to close the business. i also would like to get my $275 payment back and a $1.8 million verdict for the tragic event that happened."

my point, and i do have one is...wow, hubert, the "tragic event" that happened is that you have now become a national laughing stock! so young and so stupid...so sad. my wish for hubert is that he forgets manhattan criminal court and instead brings the case before judge judy or the people's court so the rest of us see this case through with him!

what’s your point?

***update***

in a previous blog, i introduced you to peter and alisha arnold, the couple who wanted you to decide if they should keep or abort their pregnancy. since that post, they have confirmed the premise of the site was not real. according to a cnn article, they created the website as a way to "stimulate conversation about the politically charged subject" of abortion.

peter arnold claims he got the url birthornot.com before his wife got pregnant and this was actually something he had been mulling around for a while. in regards to the request for america to help choose the fate of their pregnancy, they said they "chose their words carefully because abortion was never [really] on the table."

in addition to the negative press and public outrage of their site, in a turn they didn't foresee (really?), alisha arnold lost her job due to all the brouhaha. according to kstp-tv, her bosses thought she was a threat to the company's reputation. they even asked employees to de-friend her on facebook.

my point, and i do have one is....in the tv special rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, we learned about the island of misfit toys, a sanctuary where defective and unwanted toys were sent. i think the time has come for an island of misfit parents, created specifically for those who use their children (or in this case unborn child) to help grab their 15-minutes of fame.

now, i'm not talking about your run-of-the-mill famous parents who are no doubt bad influences on their children like...say...courtney love or oj simpson. on my island of misfit parents, the arnolds would join residents such as dina and michael lohan, octomom, the parents of balloon boy and any maury guest who has been on more than two times (each time with two or more guys) to try and "figure out" who their baby-daddy is. ladies and gentlemen, meet your modern day mommie and daddy dearests. make no mistake about it, while they may not be beating their kids with wire hangers they are leaving marks on their children and society. when will the madness stop? what is your point?

Where's My Shiv?

As one that has had his dog attacked twice by pitbulls on our very own street when I lived in LA...I'm calling for a ban on pitbull and pitbull mixes at dog parks. Controversial and not PC, I don't care. How many attacks have to happen against children and other animals?

Are you capable of taking a knife and stabbing a dog that is attacking yours? I think I am. I used to carry a stun gun with me on our walks. Nothing compares to seeing your dog attacked, especially my old senior citizen Bailey who could not fight back. Why should those people in the East Village or any place live in such fear they need to arm themselves to protect their beloved pets. I SAY BAN THE DOGS.

LOWER EAST SIDE, NY (WPIX) —

After a recent spate of pit bull attacks at an East Village dog run, fearful pet owners have begun to arm themselves.

Tompkins Square Park dog owners claim there have been five attacks by pit bulls on other dogs and humans at the dog run since September, and they fear for their pets.

"I mean when you see a pit bull latching on to another dog, there is no letting go," said Ellen Burton.

So owners are taking matters into their own hands, and several dog lovers are now reportedly packing knives, hammers and other weapons when they visit the dog run.

"In every dog run there is a fight -- it happens, it's like a playground with kids -- the only difference is, pit bulls finish fights," said one dog owner.

There is a sign at the entrance clearly stating that dog owners are always legally responsible for any damages their canines do, but that hasn't prevented the pit bull attacks.

"It's not necessarily (the case of) a bad owner, but if you know you have a dog that is aggressive you are a bad owner if you bring your dog to the park," said New York veterinary specialist E'lise Christensen.

Some dog owners blame the nearby Social Tee Animal Rescue, but founder Robert Shapiro thinks he's being targeted unfairly. "The minute a dog gets into a fight at the dog run my name is mentioned . . . I'm sure some have been from me, (but) my policy is no pit bulls at the dog run," Shapiro said.

The Parks Department says they've met with the NYPD and community groups on the issue and have installed undercover units to patrol the area.

voting for dummies....

after suffering three miscarriages, minnesota couple alisha and peter arnold have not only found themselves pregnant again, but struggling with whether they are emotionally prepared to have a child. when faced with the decision to either move forward with the pregnancy or abort, they did what every normal couple does...they set up a website, birthornot.com, so america could help them decide! once on the site, visitors could not only vote, but monitor "wiggles'" progress (that's what they call him/her) and see ultrasound pictures.

while voting was supposed to be open until dec. 7 (two days before the arnolds could still legally get an abortion in their state), it was abruptly closed yesterday. with the number of votes jumping from 250,000 to over one million in a 30 hour period (including a large swing in opinion shifting from from 81/19 in favor of "give birth" to 42/58 for "have an abortion") the arnolds suspected voter fraud. here are two excerpts from their posts:

"if you think by having a computer auto-vote for us, that it is going to discount the votes of the hundreds of thousands of legitimate votes from real people who actually care in helping us make a decision: you are wrong. rest assured, whatever your opinion on this topic, and whatever you have voted one way or another, your vote is being heard."

"with 2,008,039 votes, we have decided to close the vote. we will be sending them off to a third party report wizard to have them analyzed and have the fraud removed."

the results currently shown on the page are 73.63% for "have an abortion" and 22.37% for "give birth." according to alisha: “we are using [the vote] to help determine our decision, but we will still make the final decision." (at the time of this post, no announcement had been made.)

needless to say, this site has sent many news websites and bloggers into a tizzy. a debate has even begun on whether its premise is legit or, if it's really just a hoax to start a national discussion on abortion? according to the arnolds, "while some see this as a game, we most certainly do not."

my point, and i do have one is...are we really surprised this is what it has come too? everyone seems to not just want, but crave their 15 minutes of fame. in my opinion this has led to the over-sharing of people's lives on public forums like facebook and twitter. go ahead, look at your facebook page and see how many of your friends talk about their relationships, jobs and personal issues.

why do people feel the need to purge every single thought they have and action they take for the masses? i just don't get it. but even those of us, who may not over-share but still condone and encourage it, need to accept some responsibility. while others may have the problem, we are their enablers. which brings us back to our couple who has put the fate of their pregnancy to a national vote, just like on american idol or dancing with the stars.

in my opinion, whether or not to go to term with a pregnancy is a very personal and private matter. while the moral implications can be debated, at the end of the day i think one thing is clear...if this couple needs america to vote on whether they should be parents, children's protective services better be on hand if they have the baby! if not we, america, may be co-parenting this child via votes on their next website. (don't laugh, you know that's coming next.) what's your point?